


Illiteracy

by iloveitblue



Series: Prompts [70]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-01
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-02-11 08:25:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2061015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloveitblue/pseuds/iloveitblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Clint doesn't know how to read and write and the Avengers find out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

How do you hide a secret so obvious?

It’s simple.

You pretend you don't have a secret.

They say the best place to hide a secret is in plain sight. Which works to some extent. But this secret isn’t like those secrets. This secret could get him fired. Worst case, it could ruin his life.

The secret was this: Clint didn’t know how to read or write.

He knows how to write his name and sign for signatures and shit, but to him it’s nothing more than muscle memory. He doesn’t know what the letters mean.

When he was in the circus, life had been easy since the bar for his scholastic progress was set low. He didn’t need to learn how to read or write. What he needed to learn was how to shoot an arrow, blindfolded.

When he left the circus, he became a hired mercenary. Again, reading and writing were not a requirement in that line of work. As long as he got the job done, he got paid. 

When he joined SHIELD, the first thing they asked him to do was to fill out a data sheet. Which was probably when he should have told them he couldn’t read nor write but the nurses and the doctors didn’t ask him, so he kept mum.

His right hand was sprained and his left was in a cast. Clint never felt grateful for both his hands to be out of commission before. He had an excuse this time. So as the nurse asked him questions to fill the data sheet with, she wrote his answers down neatly on the piece of paper.

The other times where his literacy was tested, he just simply evaded them or rejected to participate.

Whenever briefing or debriefing was done, Clint listened instead of read the hard copy. Whenever anyone said “The details are inside” He’d panic a little before going to Coulson and ask him to read it to him because “It was too long and he didn’t really feel like reading”

Too which Coulson would reply with “I’m not your babysitter, Barton.”

And Clint would just sit there in front of Coulson until he felt annoyed enough to grab the pack from him and explain the details to Barton.

On and on it went. Clint hiding his secret.

He never really wanted to hide it. Especially not from Phil. He loved Phil and would never do anything to hurt the man. It was just that it’s been so long and there were so many what ifs that scared the crap out of him.

So he did something he should’ve done long before.

He tried learning the alphabet. With some help from JARVIS. 

He ordered toddler books and asked JARVIS to read it to him as he tried to understand the pictures and the letters. It was going well too, he’d been able to reach the letter C when everything fell apart.

He walked in on the living room and  _everyone_  was there. Steve, Tony, Bruce, Natasha, Thor, and Phil, all gathered in front of the couch, standing around. He slowed his pace and raised a brow. “Uh… What’s going on?”

"Clint, take a seat." Phil told him, using his serious voice. Which Clint knows should never be disobeyed whatever the cost, so he did. Everybody surrounded him, looming over him. "Have you been keeping secrets?" Phil asked.

"No, I don’t think so." Clint answered honestly, his brow furrowing. 

"Clint, we found this." Natasha showed him the alphabet book he’d been studying just hours before. He tried not to flinch, but he knew that Phil, at least knew all of his tells. "We’d like you to tell us what this is." Natasha demanded in an even tone.

There was silence and Clint could do nothing but flap his mouth open and close trying to find words. He found none.

"Come on, Birdbrain! We want to know if you’ve got an illegitimate kid hidden somewhere!" Tony spat and was rewarded with a smack upside the head from Steve, a couple of glares from Bruce and Natasha, and a disapproving shake of the head from Thor. Phil just stared at Clint. "We’re all thinking it!" Tony protested.

"Wh-What? I don’t have a child." Clint was still a little bit confused because everybody knew he was as straight as a loopy straw. Everybody knew he was with Phil.

"Then what is this?" Bruce asked, pointing to the book.

"It’s a toddler book."

"We know that. Why do you have it?" Steve asked.

"What possible use could you have for such a-"

Phil’s eyes widened in realization and he narrowed his eyes at Clint. Clint just gave him a sad smile and a shrug. 

"Oh, Clint." Phil said. "Why didn’t you tell me?" Everybody turned to Coulson, completely lost with the conversation despite him saying just one thing.

Clint shrugged again. “Kept it for too long, I guess. Couldn’t really find a way to tell you” And just like that, everybody understood.

"If you just told me, I could’ve taught you, you know. It would’ve been easier." Phil said.

"And we wouldn’t have jumped to conclusions." Steve pointed out.

"I’m sorry." Clint told them, Phil especially.

"We too must apologize for thinking that you would have an affair." Thor said.

"And for sneaking into your nest." Natasha said.

"And for touching your stuff" Steve said

"And for ganging up on you." Bruce followed up.

"And for- yeah, I think that’s it." Tony smiled, and they all snorted, hiding amusement.

—-

The next few days the tower’s common areas were filled with schmoop with Coulson and Barton cuddling or being way too close to be called comfortable while Phil taught Clint how to read and write.


	2. Chapter 2

So Clint couldn’t read or write. That’s hardly a problem. It’ll be easy teaching Clint. He’s a smart man. Determined too. Phil had thought it’d be easy to teach Clint the alphabet. He’d gotten to the letter C in just 2 days after all. 

But oh, Phil has never been this wrong before. 

Don’t get him wrong, Clint is an exemplary student. He understands the lesson fairly quickly and absorbs information like an industrial grade sponge. It’s amazing that this man hasn’t honed his literacy. If he’d been given the chance to actually get a proper education, this man could stand toe to toe against Tony Stark and Bruce Banner.

The only problem was…

"Clint, stop that. I’m trying to teach you about the letter D." Phil swatted Clint’s hand, which was inching towards the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table. Phil was sure that was from the night before. The Avengers may be superheroes, but neat, they are not.  _We have people for that._  Phil could hear Tony complain. It was true enough but they could at least keep the common areas of the tower as clean as they do their own rooms.

Clint waggled his eyebrows, looking up at Phil. “I  _bet_  you want the D.” Half his face was covered with his signature shit-eating grin.

Phil sighed as he rolled his eyes. “That was only funny the first time, Clint. Do you even know why they say that?” That was a trick question. Of course Clint knew that. It’s practically the first thing Clint learned to spell with Phil’s help during… ehem… extracurricular activities.

"Because its the first letter of dick." Clint smirked and began waggling his eyebrows again. "I learned that while-"

Phil coughed loudly, catching Clint’s attention and Tony’s - who was just on his way to the kitchen. “What’s up, sugarpops?” Tony sat down next to Clint with a flop. 

"The ceiling. The sky. The lights. The sun. The stars." Clint told him. Phil had enough control to stop showing emotion even if he was hit by a truck, but he really didn’t feel like hiding the stupid grin caused by Clint’s ridiculous reply.

"Oh, Hah. Hah. So, how’s studying the alphabet working out for you?" Tony asked instead.

"Oh you know. Getting down to the nitty gritty with the D." Clint waggled his eyebrows at Tony. Phil’s grin fell right off of his face when Tony waggled his eyebrows back at Clint and fired several shots from his finger gun at Clint while simultaneously letting out an "Eeeeeh" sound that seemed to go a significantly higher pitch with every second. 

Clint did the same. 

Phil sighed again and ever wondered if they were ever going to get past the letter D.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Here on tumblr](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/post/109770694646/i-was-more-productive-today-than-i-was-yesterday)

**Author's Note:**

> [Here on tumblr](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/post/93507919751/dont-drink-tonight-if-you-have-8am-work)


End file.
